It's a judgment on him

Let the charwoman alone to be the first!


Let the laundress alone to be the second; and let the undertaker's man alone to be the third.



Look here, old Joe, here's a chance. If we haven't all three met here without meaning it!


You couldn't have met in a better place. Come into the parlor. Hack. You'll have to excuse me. Got a touch of the H1N1. ... I see you've got some of his things.
Every person has a right to take care of themselves. He always did.


That's true, indeed. No man more so. Who's the worse for the loss of a few things like these? Not a dead man, I suppose.

If he wanted to keep them after he was dead why wasn't he natural in his lifetime? If he had been, he'd have had somebody to look after him when he drank that non-alcoholic beer, instead of lying with his head in an armoire, gasping out his last breath, alone by himself with them cats gnawin' at his carcass."


It's the truest word that ever was spoke. It's a judgment on him.




I wish it was a little heavier judgment and it should have been, I could have laid my hands on anything else. Open that bundle, old Joe, and let me know the value of it.



Sheets and towels, a Phillies cap, Phillies T-shirt, Philies sweatshirt. A polar bear rug. Some beer steins. A beer tray, what in heaven's name is a Daeufer's? ... Well, I always give too much to ladies. It's a weakness of mine, and that's the way I ruin myself.


And now undo my bundle, Joe.


What do you call this -- Phillies bed curtains?

Ah! 2008 World Series Champion Bed-curtains.
You don't mean to say you took them down, rings and all, with him lying there?
I do. ... Right after the World Series was done. And with the cats bitin' at his leg. Why not?
These are his blankets? Hope you washed them.



Whose else's do you think? He isn't likely to take cold without them, I dare say.

Hmmm.

And you may look through that Chase Utley jersey till your eyes ache; but you won't find a hole in it, nor a threadbare place. It's the best he had, and a fine one too: 2008 World Series Champions. They'd have wasted it, if it hadn't been for me."

Wasted it?

They put it on him to be buried in, to be sure, but I took it off again. He can't look uglier in the old Mets Delgado one I put on him.

Hey, um, Big Bird. Delgado? This sorta sucks.

Caw!

Now what? You're pointing at a corpse? ... You want me to go see who it is? Not interested. ... Jeez, somebody should really chase those cats off of him, whoever he is.