Been there done that

Caw!


You're annoying. ... This is the Cratchits' dump. Been there done that. What's next?


Caw!


And he took a child, and set him in the midst of them. ... Don't cry mother!

It's my eyes, Peter. The candlelight makes them weak. ... They are better now. I wouldn't show weak eyes to your father when he comes home, for the world. ... It must be near his time.

Past it, rather. But I think he's walked a little slower than he used, these few last evenings, mother.


I have known him walk with -- I have known him walk with Tiny Tim upon his shoulder, very fast indeed. But he was very light to carry and his father loved him so, that it was no trouble -- no trouble. And there is your father at the door!


So, the kid didn't make it?


Caw!


Sunday. You went today, then, Robert?


Yes, my dear. I wish you could have gone. It would have done you good to see how green a place it is. But you'll see it often. I promised him that I would walk there on a Sunday. ... My little, little child! My little child!


OK, I get it. Let's go. Now where's he going? ... Oh. The dead kid's upstairs. ... You have a lotta bodies laying around in this town. No wonder everybody is sick. ... When do they invent Purell?


I saw Mr. Scrooge's nephew Fred today. He was extraordinarily kind. He is the pleasantest-spoken gentleman you ever heard. He said, 'I am heartily sorry for your loss, Mr Cratchit and heartily sorry for your good wife.'


What else did he say, Robert?


He said. 'I must go now. I'm not in this version. Yabba Dabba Do.'


Now you see why he's not in this version.


I am sure we shall none of us forget poor Tiny Tim -- shall we -- or this first parting that there was among us. ... I know, my dears, that when we recollect how patient and how mild he was; although he was a little, little child; we shall not quarrel easily among ourselves, and forget poor Tiny Tim in doing it.


Caw!


Outta there at last! The Cratchits are depressing. I don't suppose there any good bars you could show me in the future, say, after the invention of refrigeration ... or soap?


Caw!


I get it. The future is depressing. ... And maybe if I wasn't such a shithead things would be better. And maybe if Scrooge and Player's offered health benefits, maybe Cratchit's kid wouldn't be dead. ... But who was that other dead guy with the cats?


Caw!


What the heck! ... I recognize this street. ... There's my office. Wonder if there's any more cash floating around in there. ...


Caw!


The office is redecorated! Beige. I hate beige! And who the hell is that guy sitting in my desk. Karl? ... Where the hell am I?


Caw!


The church? ... The church yard? What the hell would I be doing there in the middle of the night?